Stephanie Kaye

When Do I Get to be in Charge of my Life?

2009-03-13T23:37:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't know I've been toying with the idea of moving to SF when my lease is up in June. This wouldn't be a permanent move just for six or so months. I could live with my sister rent free and spend time with Gina and Michelle and my two nieces Sierra and Sedona. I see my sisters and my nieces maybe once a year on average and this would be an opportunity to save some money (which I desperately need to do) and have some bonding time. I've already talked with work and they said it most likely would not be a problem for me to transfer there. I would have to leave my friends and that would be sad but I would be back. I am 23 years old and I just graduated and I don't have any real ties at the moment. This would be the time to take some adventure.
I called my parents to let them know I was thinking about this possibility tonight. I was expecting for them not to be super supportive but their reaction I was not expecting. I realize that I did just graduate and that my parents might not realize this but I am an adult. I can make my own choices for my life and they cannot have the final say. They have helped me out financially with school and life over the past (almost) five years but I've been living on my own this whole time. I wonder when if ever I will be considered an adult in their eyes? When if ever will they think I am able to decided things for myself?
You know what angers me the most out of the whole situation? Part of my doesn't want to go only because I don't want to cause any drama with my parents. I know I can do things on my own and I know I am fully capable to decided things on my own but somehow I still just don't want to deal with parents that aren't pleased.

New Phase?

2009-02-03T01:27:00.000-08:00

This is supposed to be a new phase in my life. However, I don't feel like I'm there yet. I'm in limbo and I hate being this unstable. While I was in college I didn't have total stability but school was there and I think it anchored me and that was a bit comforting. Now, I've really got nothing. I do have a job and for that I am thankful, but it's not what I want to do with my life. I am constantly told by others (and myself) that the economy is bad and that I will get a job in my field eventually but honestly it doesn't help. "Eventually" is really just not good enough for me right now. I want to start the next phase in my life. I don't want to be placed on hold anymore. The "on hold elevator" music sucks and I can't stand to listen to it anymore. I'm not just complaining and not doing anything about it. I've applied for jobs. Not just jobs that are in my field (because there aren't any). I've just been trying to get into something that might actually make me feel like I have a purpose. Right now showing people to their seats at a restaurant is not really a purpose, it's a job and a depressing one at that.
Hello life, I'm Stephanie and I'd like to join you now.

Red...

2009-01-08T00:14:00.000-08:00

That's the new color of my hair. I'm not a blonde at the moment but I have a feeling I'll be back in the blonde club at some point and time. It's a change but I think it's a good one. I'm in need of a change.

Um...

2008-12-20T01:56:00.000-08:00

I graduated from Belmont tonight...this is weird. Beyond weird actually.

Apple Implants

2008-12-09T11:12:00.000-08:00

My dad forwarded this to me and it is frickin funny...

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music.

The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size.

This is considered a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them

A Few Thoughts...

2008-11-05T06:13:00.001-08:00

Last night History was made. Our 44th President of the United States is Barack Obama. I want to say that even if you didn't vote for Obama please be proud of your country. It was not that long ago in American history where most Americans did not believe that African Americans should have the same rights as white people. Last night we elected an African American president. We have come a long way in the past 40 years and I am incredibly proud of America.
Times are changing and that is not going to stop. We are facing some major problems in America right now and it is going to take a strong leader to get us through these rough times. I want to ask no matter who you voted for, please pray for our president elect. I am praying that he will ask for God's guidance throughout his term (or terms), I pray that our country will be united, not because we all voted for him but because we are the United States and we need to be together as one (especially after the past eight years), and I pray for his safety.
I hope that Americans can unite and see the change in America as a sign of incredible progress.

"Obama on the Left McCain on the right...

2008-11-03T11:29:00.000-08:00

Please watch this if you haven't already. It might be the best thing I've ever seen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxlwYP0HNdc

I'm Sick

2008-10-23T15:44:00.000-07:00

I feel like I was just waiting for it to hit me. I've been feeling it coming on and here it is. The doctor told me I have a virus and proceeded to give me steroids and cough syrup. I am now currently sitting in my physics class that I had to go to because tonight was a lab night. I guess he is talking about fahrenheit and celsius right now. I only know that because it's written on the board. He also brought a DVD for the lab today and I don't think I could be more thankful. If I had to try to understand a lab today I'm not sure I could've done it.
I sent my absentee ballot in on my way into school today. My vote for president in my state doesn't completely matter I guess since the opposing senator is from my state and therefore will most likely win it but I still wanted to vote. I think it will be interesting how much of the vote each candidate gets in my home state.
I guess we aren't talking about temperature anymore. I guess I should go try to pay attention.

A New Day...

2008-10-20T06:46:00.000-07:00

It finally happened. They both came in today and I WAS working. i just thought I would let you all know that.

So...

2008-10-14T20:09:00.000-07:00

Keith was in Cheesecake Factory today...when I was NOT working.

66 Days Away...

2008-10-13T06:36:00.000-07:00

I just thought I would just update you all on that...66 days. Woot.

Best Walk Ever...

2008-10-09T14:56:00.000-07:00

I went for a walk down Belmont Blvd today and it was gorgeous. I spent the first ten or so minutes on the phone with my mom and it was a pleasant conversation...which was surprising because we were talking politics and we don't really agree on much right at the moment. Anyway, so from there I turned up my ipod and proceeded to walk for what ended up to be an hour but still didn't seem long enough. It was a beautiful day and I kind of had the realization that it is fall. The leaves are changing and it is cooler (not much cooler but a little) and I am so excited that summer is over. To top off the end of my perfect walk I looked at this jeep that was driving by and Dierks Bentley was driving it. It was a very nice end to a very rejuvenating walk.

Yeah...

2008-10-01T21:45:00.001-07:00

It's been a hard time lately. I know I haven't been good at hiding it but I haven't wanted to talk about it. I'm not going to hash it out on my blog for the entire world to see but I just wanted the people close to me to know that I think it's on the upside. Leona said something to me the other night that really made me feel like it was going to get better. She said "Sometimes you have to realize it's going to hurt and let it hurt." So, that's what I'm going to do. Now that I'm letting it happen I already feel better.

Ugh...

2008-10-01T06:30:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder why I make the same mistakes over and over again. It's just annoying.

Here's the other picture...

2008-09-24T13:50:00.001-07:00

I don't know why it wouldn't upload both....

This is Kind of Weird But...

2008-09-24T13:48:00.001-07:00

My parents met Jessica Simpson. Here are the pictures...

Test Hell

2008-09-24T07:09:00.000-07:00

Four tests in four days. It's a lot. Luckily there is not more than one in one day but they run Tuesday-Friday this week. Eighty five days from now I wont have to take a written exam for this school again! Bah! I can't wait.
Kitty was here this weekend. I love it that she can be gone for months and when she comes back for a weekend everything picks up right where we left off. I miss her being here but I am happy she is happy where she is. It was a good weekend with the ladies. I also love that about when she comes to visit. She brings us all back together.
Well, I am straight up boring right now. Nothing but school and work. If there is anything worth updating about then I'll let you know.

So Far Not So Good

2008-09-17T12:22:00.000-07:00

I started out today getting into a fender bender. I've only been in one other fender bender when I was eighteen the day before prom. It really shook me up even though it wasn't that big of a thing. It was just the last thing I really needed right now. I know no one ever needs to get into a fender bender but I just needed to not have one more thing go wrong. I haven't been in a really great place lately and so this was just the icing on the cake. Things can only go up from here. That is my new outlook and that's the way it's going to go.

My Mom is on TV!

2008-09-12T20:44:00.000-07:00

I mean the title basically says it all. The local news did a report on early release days in the school district my mom works for. She is basically in the story for the whole segment. Here is the link:

http://gannett.a.mms.mavenapps.net/mms/rt/1/site/gannett-phoenix-531-pub01-live/current/launch.html?maven_playerId=schoolsolutions&maven_referralObject=852013736&maven_referrer=staf

I'm a proud daughter.

99 Days Before Reality HIts...

2008-09-10T10:38:00.000-07:00

That's right ladies and gentlemen 99 days until I am a college graduate. That is as long as I keep waking up for my 8am class. I'm a little afraid of how I am going to be able to wake up everyday for a "real job" when I can barely make it to my 8am class. I think a lot of coffee will be in order as well as Tylenol PM to fall asleep earlier. The coffee plan has already been put in place but not the sleeping earlier thing. I figured I still have 99 more days to live like a college student where sleep is a not a necessity it's something that happens on those nights when you fall asleep during your "attempt" at reading for a class. Anyway, I will have some years to enjoy that phase of life where I get to sleep before I have kids and then I wont sleep until they are all done with college (maybe).
In my mad dash towards graduation I am in the process of finishing my last 27 credits of convo (25 now woo hoo). I attended the opening convocation today where all of the faculty has to be there in their robes and President Fisher basically gives his version of the state of the union. Anyway, I was looking forward to a long hour of trying not to fall asleep when who else but prof. McHottie walks through the door in his robes and funny looking hat and sits down in the row across from me. At that point I realized that convo just got a little more entertaining. I immediately texted my fourth floor ladies and told them of my first official sighting of the year. I got some perfect fourth floor responses:
Emily: "Omg I just peeped (peed) my pants, love it."
Val:"Oh Belmont wouldn't be same without you"
Leona: "Don't drool. It's a little awkward."
Danielle: "Haha that is awesome. Make out with him for me okay thanks."
And this might be my favorite:
Tara: "He's brining convo back."
So between the staring and the texts I was entertained for most of the hour.
Well, I am off to Biodiversity class. My prof is a "bug man" and always brings some in to every class. I sit very far away from his desk.

This Gives me Just a Little More Hope

2008-09-03T09:09:00.001-07:00

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?'

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think.

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'

Rebecca- age 8

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'

Billy - age 4

'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'

Karl - age 5

'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'

Chrissy - age 6

'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'

Terri - age 4

'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'

Danny - age 7

'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss'

Emily - age 8

'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'

Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'

Nikka - age 6
(we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'

Noelle - age 7

'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'

Tommy - age 6

'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'

Cindy - age 8

'My mommy loves me more than anybody
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'

Clare - age 6

'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'

Elaine-age 5

'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'

Chris - age 7

'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.'

Mary Ann - age 4

'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'

Lauren - age 4

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' (what an image)

Karen - age 7

this one
'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'

Mark - age 6

'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'

Jessica - age 8

And the final one

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,

'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

Graduationa and Reflection

2008-09-02T12:17:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure when it happened but I am an adult. I mean I've been realizing it but with my impending graduation I am really starting to get it. I've been walking around campus and people watching and listening to conversations and it is amazing to me that I am in a completely different place than most of the people on this campus. Yes I am still in school but my life doesn't revolve around school anymore. My friends aren't here anymore.
All of this realization really made me go back and think about the past four years here and the people I've met. My fourth wright girls literally changed my life. It might sound cheesey (in fact I know it does) but without them I don't think I would be the person I am today. We are all so different but somehow we can still all be as close as we are. I feel incredibly lucky to have had experiences with each of them one on one that has let me see who they really are. Who they are are amazing women who have hearts of gold (whether they want to admit it or not cough Emily cough cough). I was in the bookstore and this freshman girl was standing in front of me in line when her roomate walked in. They did their little greeting (there was squealing involved) and talked about their days and then hugged and said I will see you back in the room in probably ten minutes. Part of me misses those days. I wouldn't trade my experience on fourth floor wright for anything. However, I am also very excited about the new direction my life is headed. I am headed into the "real world" as everyone likes to put it and I am ready to take it head on. Well, at least I think I am. Who knows what life is actually going to throw at me. Whatever the next stage might hold I am excited and I know that those ladies who have been there for the stage I am leaving will be there with me for the next one.

Well...

2008-07-31T19:58:00.000-07:00

Things are better. More update to come.
PS-I love Ace of Cakes

Tested

2008-07-23T12:56:00.000-07:00

That seems to be the theme of my summer. At the begining of this summer I had a hard time and then I had about a month and a half where things were pretty good. I couldn't really complain. In fact there were some good things going on. Then all the sudden wham within three hours things just fell apart. I no longer work at Curb. Well, I am there now but tomorrow is my last day. It's just been a hard week. Monday I felt like my plans just shattered and I was lost again. I feel a lot better about things today. It's always to see things when you aren't super emotional about them like I was when I first dealing with them. My parents also don't think I am as strong as I actually am. That hurts. I kind of understand because they just want to protect me because they love me but they should trust me enough to know I can handle things that I set out to do. They aren't here everyday to see what I am handling now and if they were I think they would know that I could handle it. I also have to let something go that I really don't want to. It's more someone that something. I don't want to go through what I have again and if I don't do it now I will be sitting aroudn waiting for something that's never going happen yet again. I don't need to do that again. It hurt too much the first time to let myself get like that again.
Anyway, just pray for me please if you do that kind of thing. I need help to figure things out.

Something my sister sent me...

2008-07-17T00:29:00.001-07:00

When you least expect it...

2008-07-01T12:15:00.001-07:00

Life throws you something amazing.

"His bloodmoney paid for our broken pieces."

2008-06-11T12:16:00.000-07:00

I finally was able to go to church for the first time in a long time this past Sunday. It felt so good to go. I went to Journey with my friend Joe on Sunday and I really liked it. Miraculously I wasn't scheduled this upcoming Sunday so I am going again because the pastor wasn't there and I would like to hear him speak. I asked my manager if I could get Sunday mornings off from now on and he said he would try to let me have three a month off. I'll take that. I've missed church and I've missed being around people who are constantly seeking God. I am not saying that my friends aren't, but I've just been so busy lately that I just haven't been able to be around anyone let alone around a church body. The title of this post is a quote from Sunday's service and I don't know why but it really stuck with me. I've heard this said in many different ways throughout my Christian life but I think it was within the context that the analogy really hit me. I think I kind of woke up from the sleep I've been in for a few months.
This has been a hard couple of weeks. Things are getting to me that I feel shouldn't. I am letting myself get too stressed out and I went from being genuinely happy to just getting throught the weeks. I don't like living like that. I guess it could have something to do with working two jobs and 65 hours a week. It could also be due to my plan for this year not working out. I think I'm being taught a lesson. I don't get to always get my way. This lesson is hard for to learn apparently. So hard that I have to be hit over the head with it repeatedly. I also think that I am being taught the I am not superwoman despite what I like to think about myself. I can't do it all, and I especially can't do it all by myself. With how busy I am right now I've also stated to feel really lonley. I don't have time to truely connect with people right now and that's just not okay with me. I miss people and I miss having the energy and time to actually sit down with them and connect.
Wow, I don't know why I just spilled my guts on the internet for everyone to read but I guess I need to do it. People keep asking me what's wrong and I just haven't wanted to talk about it. Now I guess I can just refer them to this page.

Sex and the CIty...

2008-05-30T01:16:00.001-07:00

WAS AWESOME!!!! Yes indeed I went to the midnight showing of Sex and the City movie and I was not disappointed one bit. I am not just saying this at all but I predicted the ending from the first time that we saw the trailer. Sorry I know that's an annoying thing to say but it's true. Anyway, I just had to write about that. No spoilers don't worry, just that it was awesome.

May 2008

2008-04-30T22:20:00.000-07:00

It's officially May 2008 and the time I thought I was going to be done with this part of my life. However, the end is not in sight for me. My close friends are making plans and finding jobs and about to embark on a new chapter in their lives. I am truly happy for them and very excited to see where they all will land. I know they all will be doing amazing things in the next few years because they are all intelligent and amazing women. I do feel a little left behind. It isn't anything they are doing, it's just the situation. I know there are a couple of us who will be here a little longer. I think I am just ready to move on. Don't get me wrong this stage in my life has been amazing. I don't know what I would have done if I had not moved here and met all of these amazing people and basically met me for the first time. It's just that I feel like I am ready to embark on a new journey. I am ready to get out there on my own and either fall on my face or succeed. I'm ready to live the rest of my life.
I've been realizing some things about myself lately. This past year has been amazing and I've grown a lot. However, I feel like I've lost touch a bit spiritually. I still have my faith but my relationship with God has not grown that much. I really want to change that. I want to go to church and be involved. I want to make that a priority because in the past few months it hasn't been very high on the list. I think I realized this a couple of weeks ago when I went to a worship service with a friend and I felt so good afterwards. I forgot how it felt to connect with God in that setting. I've been praying and talking to Him everyday but I haven't worshiped Him like that in a long time. I've missed it.
This past weekend I felt like my life came crumbling down on me. I thought I had things planned out and then all of the sudden things changed. I am looking forward to the week I have coming up where I will be able to catch up on some rest and de-stress myself because after that I wont have another "break" until December when I (hopefully) graduate. I know I am going to be extremely busy over the next seven months with working two jobs and going to school but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? (I've been using a lot of cliches lately in trying to make myself feel better.)
Well, I have to study and write a paper for tomorrow (finals and all) so I guess I better get working on that some more.

Weird Thing Happened to me Today...

2008-04-08T11:36:00.000-07:00

I was sitting outside at Bongo Java today studying for my American Lit 2 test and I had a little bit of my poultry bomb left sitting on my plate. This bird landed on my table and starts hopping toward me eyeing me at the same time. I decided to see what he was going to do so I just sat still and watched him. He kept getting closer and closer and then he actually started picking at my sandwich. He then knocked is off of my plate onto the ground and started eating it. He also ate the turkey that was on which seemed a little wrong to me since he was a bird eating a bird. Anyway, no one else saw it and I was looking around to see if I could express how weird I thought this whole thing was with anyone but no one was available. This bird had no fear and I just thought the whole experience was weird.

Best Dad Ever

2008-03-06T21:32:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I pretty much do have the best Dad there is. Tonight I went to the Sony BMG CRS party because my dad pulled some strings and got me in. Yeah. I went on the General Jackson where there was a nice dinner (for a college student that in itself is awesome) and country artists walking around to tables and introducing themselves to me. Then I got to see a whole bunch of them perform. First up was Gypsi (not so good) then Chuck Wicks (okay) then Chris Young, Kelly Pickler (who surprised me with a new song that is awesome) then it was Miranda Lambert, Sara Evans (I love her voice) then Brad Paisley (did a song that was 400 beats per minute) and then Kenny Chesney. At the end all of the artists came out onstage and sang "Honky Tonk Women" together which is one of my favorite Rolling Stone songs. All in all, awesome night.

It's March? Where Have I Been?

2008-03-03T14:03:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe it is already March. Seriously where is the time going? I feel like it is flying by. All of my friends will be graduating and moving on in two months. That's crazy. I feel like I just moved here and we all should be living on Fourth Floor Wright. I however, will not be moving on in May. I will still be here at Belmont taking classes and just trying to graduate. I am just hoping that we all don't scatter completely. I mean I know it will happen to a point but I really want us to try to make an effort for that to not happen. Emily is going to move to NYC (whether she thinks she is getting a job out there or not she is because she is awesome), Tara is moving to Indiana to go to grad school. Leona and Val want to go to Law school and the schools they want to go to are not here. Kitty is already gone (yeah I'll rub that in there for you Kitty). It's just sad to think about us all moving to different parts of the country or the world in some cases. I don't mean to sound so down about it, I am happy for all of my friends who are going on to do some really great things. I will just miss what we have. I don't think we'll ever lose that completely I guess, we just wont have it around as often. It will be crazy to think about what will happen within the next two years. It's sad to be left behind in a way but I have to say I am really excited to see what everyone is going to do. If there is one thing I know about all of my friends is that they are amazing and they are meant to do some great things with their lives. I love you FourthWright ladies! Without you all I wouldn't know what friendship was supposed to be like.

Best Day EVER!

2008-02-17T19:26:00.001-08:00

I got to work today and guess who was sitting at the first table I look at KEITH URBAN!!!!!!! Yeah.

Snow Day

2008-02-13T10:23:00.000-08:00

I am aware that to the rest of the world that was not deprived of the white stuff called snow that the snow fall for today was not that significant. However, to a girl from Arizona the land of no weather, this is quite exciting. I don't think that this will ever get old. I woke up today and just looked out the window and got a very nice surprise. However, the snow is melting as we speak and now it's just cold. Oh well, tomorrow it will probably be 70 degrees and sunny.
This week has been rough so far and it is only Wednesday. I missed all of last week due to the flu. I felt like I had been run over by a truck. I missed all but one class last week and I only went to it because I had a test and had to go. So, this week is all about catch up.
So far so good at the Cheesecake Factory. I really like it so far. All the people are nice and helpful and I like working at place where I don't have to deal with children all day. Not that I don't love children still, it's just that I do want my own someday and well, I was afraid that working with them any longer would have made me not want them ever.
I have a little rant to go on for a moment...please hang in there. So, why is it that people think that they can not pay you when they are supposed to? I worked for someone in November and I still have not been paid for it. Two weeks ago I got an email from them and they asked me for my address so they could send me a check. I gave it to them and they sent me an email back saying thanks we got it. Well, I just got another email last night saying that I needed to send them my address ASAP so they could get this check out. I was depending on that being here like now. It just bugs me that it isn't here yet and the email implied that it was my fault. Okay rant over.
I will probably being looking for a new roomate come May so if anyone knows of anybody who needs a place to live or someone to live with let me know.

Gunner

2008-02-02T07:17:00.001-08:00

The last post that I wrote about this dog is going to make me look like an idiot now. Last night I got home around 1:15ish and no one was here, not even Gunner. So, I texted Tara and said "Where are you guys?" she then said "Gunner got hit." I called her but she didn't pick up which was understandable, I probably couldn't have talked either. So, I am starting to freak out a bit and then I hear them come in and they were carrying Gunner. They think he broke his tail and bruised his back leg pretty bad. He also spilt open his lip and lost a couple baby teeth. They don't think that he had any serious damage but they told Tara and Tim to check his every hour for internal bleeding. So, a heart attack later he is okay, a little beat up but okay.

Say What?

2008-01-30T23:49:00.000-08:00

I don't know where the title came from but oh well. The semester is going well so far. I like my classes with the exception of one. It is something I dread going to every Monday and Wednesday. It's my entertainment distribution and promotion class. My professor is a very nice woman but not great as a teacher. Also, I feel like every annoying person was put in this class. I've also come to realize that my class is pretty much all of the entertainment industry studies majors. So, that means that most of the people in my major annoy the frickin' crap out of me. How hard is it to grasp the reasons behind the writer's strike? Not that hard. Yet somehow we spent three days talking about the stupid writer's strike. Wow, I went off on a total rant there and I didn't even mean to. Anyway, the other classes are alright. Nothing too spectacular.
This past week I feel like God has been hitting me over the head with what he wants me to do right now. I feel like Rolling Hills is no longer my church home. I am not sure where that is right now but I am going to try a couple places and just listen. I went to Village Chapel with Jess on Sunday night and I liked it. I've been there before but this was the first time that I could see myself going there. I also felt like the sermon was just for me. You ever get that feeling. That feeling where God is like LISTEN this is for YOU. Yeah that was this past weekend.
Anyway, I don't know why I am sitting here blogging when I should be sleeping. So, goodnight.

I'm In Shock

2008-01-22T14:30:00.000-08:00

Heath Ledger is dead from a drug overdose.

New Details On Heath Ledger's Shocking Death!
Filed under: Heath Ledger
At 3:31 p.m., a masseuse arrived at Apartment 5A in the building for an appointment with Mr. Ledger, the police said. The masseuse was let in to the home by a housekeeper, who then knocked on the door of Mr. Ledger’s bedroom. When no one answered, the housekeeper and the masseuse opened the bedroom and found Mr. Ledger unconscious. They shook him, but he did not respond. They immediately called the authorities. The police said they did not suspect foul play and said they found pills near body.

I Want to Kill the Dog...

2008-01-20T17:27:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer #1: I don't actually want to kill the dog I am just furious with him.
Disclaimer #2: I am aware that I am 22 and need to not sleep with a teddy bear every night.

I found Mr. Red Bow Tie dead laying face down under my robe today. His face was completely eaten off. The culprit would the stupid ass dog we call Gunner. He has eaten nine pairs of my shoes and one hat and now he has eaten my Mr. Red. This is the teddy bear that I got for my first Christmas. I have had him for 21 years. He's been through a lot. He was left on an airplane but somehow he got back to me unharmed. Yet six months with Gunner and he is dead. If you know me you know that I LOVE dogs and usually don't get this upset when Gunner does something wrong. This is different. I do not like this dog right now, and for me to say that is a statement. Anyway, I know I just wrote a blog about my dead teddy bear but I had to get that off my chest.

I Feel Loved

2008-01-12T17:53:00.000-08:00

Last night was my Nashville birthday party and I have to say it was awesome. I feel really loved after last night. There were a lot of people there and I looked around and I was realized how great my friends are. It also made me really thankful for all of them and for moving here. While I was in Arizona and SF and LA I was completely homesick for Nashville. This is home and I couldn't be happier that I can call it that.

It Wouldn't be Christmas without....

2007-12-22T20:05:00.000-08:00

A lot of drama. My dad started having pains right below his ribcage and couldn't breath very well. So, we took him to the ER and he got worse in the car because the only hospital close to us is about twenty minutes away. My mom called 911 in the car and they called the hospital to warn them we were coming. They took him in right away which was good. At first they tought that it was his heart. Luckily it is not his heart. He has gallbladder disease and an inflamed pancreas. He has to have his gallbladder removed but they have to wait until his pancreas is less inflamed before they can do it. So, hopefully they can do the surgery tomorrow. The doctors implied that he would be okay when everything was over. So, that's the good news. It's been a stressful day so I am going to go to bed now.

To Quote a Really Bad Song "It's Been Awhile"

2007-12-19T22:31:00.001-08:00

Well, since the last post Jasmine has passed away. She died the week after I posted that. She didn't get any better even though the doctors said she was cancer free so my parents decided that she was suffering.
Anyway, the semester is over and I am back in Arizona for ten days for Christmas. Then I am going to SF to visit the sisters and nieces for New Years and my birthday. Then on Jan. 3rd I will be going to LA for three days to be the nanny for Ashley and Andrew while they get married. So, I am going to be on a lot of planes over the next couple of weeks.
Other than that things are going pretty well. Home is good so far. My sisters are going to be here on Friday. Well, two of them anyway. So, we'll see how that goes. Michelle and I are unusually close so that wont be a problem but Jackie is coming and I had not talked to her in about a year and a half. Well, Thanksgiving ended that run but it will be interesting.
Anyway, I am boring right now. So, I'll stop writing.

Miracles Really Do Happen Everyday

2007-10-22T21:25:00.000-07:00

So, this day started out really crappy. I called my parents and they told me that they were going to take her to the vet and have to put her down. She stopped eating and drinking and they thought the cancer had spread to her liver. I was a mess all day and was waiting for the dreaded call from my dad. I finally called him around 3pm and he said they were taking her in soon. So, apparently when they took her in the vet said they wanted to run one more test to make sure they were making the right choice. Well, they did...and she is cancer free. This dog is a miracle! She was diagnosed with cancer when I was a sophomore in high school and given six months to live. It's six years later she is still here and now cancer free. She does have a liver disease but it is treatable. She is fourteen years old and still alive and kicking. I can't believe it.

"Cats do not provide milk, or warmth or meat" -Dwight K. Schrute

2007-09-30T18:45:00.000-07:00

So, I really don't know how I get sick so easily. Actually this time I think I know why I am sick...and that' okay. Thursday night I started getting really sick and I am pretty sure I have the flu. On a good note though I think my fever broke like an hour ago so maybe I will be feeling better soon.
I've realized since moving in with Tara that I am not built to live alone. I practically do since she is never here and I don't like it at all. I can't wait until Danielle and I live together. I talked to her tonight and I miss her so much. I seriously can't wait until she is back.
Okay, I have homework to do.

You Jump I Jump Jack

2007-09-09T10:36:00.000-07:00

That is the name of the current episode of Gilmore Girls I am watching. I've been in the world of Stars Hallow for the past week. It's been fun. I think I just watch Gilmore Girls when I don't feel very well.
School has been good so far. I like all my classes. Management is a bit boring but that's okay. I was hired at Target on Thursday but I am still looking for another job just to see what else is out there. I love interning at Big Machine. It's been a lot of fun and good things are happening there right now. Garth's single debuted at number 1 abd Taylor Swift's album just went platinum. Good things.
Everything else is going pretty well.
Well, I have a lot of homework to do for tomorrow so I better get started.

I'm Back

2007-08-19T10:36:00.000-07:00

So, I guess I've been back for a week and a half but I just haven't updated this yet. Living in Sterling Court with Tara is going well so far. I'm pretty much all settled in. There are still some things that I need to get in order but for the most part they're all in place. I still haven't found a job but I have an interview tomorrow at the Cheesecake Factory. I've applied at a bunch of other place so hopefully I will be getting a job soon. If you know of anything and want to let me know that would be great! I start classes on Wednesday along with my internship. I am interning at Big Machine records this semester which is exciting because Garth Brooks just signed to the label and is going to have a new album out early 2008. Other than that I've been kind of bored. I don't have a job or anything I have to do and so it's been kind of weird.
Anyway, I should get going to move the rest of Danielle and my stuff out of our old apartment in the commons.
ttfn

Nashville Bound

2007-08-08T01:15:00.000-07:00

The title sounds like a bad country song. Anyway, I am packing to come back to Nashville. That's right tomorrow I will be on a plane and on Thursday at 6:15pm I will be home! There will also be some serious catching up with everyone. I am so excited. Anyway, I should go pack some more and then go to bed. I am almost home! Yay!

I Love Acts of Kindness

2007-08-01T00:18:00.000-07:00

There was a monsoon tonight. Not just a monsoon but it actually rained to about two hours. For people who are not from Arizona this does not seem like a big deal but here this is a major event. I am not saying this as a sarcastic comment. Really here when it rains that much if floods, especially up where my parents live. I went to my friend Emily's house to help her pack to go on a trip. I was driving down Cave Creel Road (yes it's actually called that) and going south it was flooded but still drivable. Going north on Cave Creek it was completely flooded and cacti were knocked down in the middle of the road. (Yes cacti not trees. Also, the plural for cactus is cacti not cactuses.) Anyway, so there were cars stopped and at one point the police were blocking it off so that you couldn't go north. So, needless to say I was not turning around to go home. I got to Emily's house and I stayed until 11 thinking it would be better by then. So, I got to Cave Creek Road and it was blocked off. Then I went to the next street over that could get me to my house which was Tatum and it was blocked off. Finally I got to Scottsdale Road and it was not. I went up there going about 35 miles an hour because it was still flooded just not as bad as the others. I turned on Lone Mountain and there was dirt everywhere making it a very slow drive. Then I drive up and see these people sitting on cars that are stuck in this mudd and water. Turns out the people who lived on this road and who were stuch waiting for tow trucks were helping people get through and had shovels and were pushing cars when they couldn't make it. This struck me as one of the nicest things I've ever witnesses in real life. I mean it's something kind of small but these people were sitting out with their pants rolled up wading (sp?) in muddy water helping people. Luckily I didn't get stuck but only because they told me what to do. I made it home but it took me an hour which it would normally take about 25 minutes.
Anyway, that really long story was to say that I love it when people help other people without expecting anything. Sorry if this post was boring but I had to share that.

2007-07-27T11:13:00.000-07:00

I don't know if you all know about my dad's cousin Alan. He had Lou Geregs Disease and couldn't move, talk or breath on his own anymore. He asked to be taken off of his machines yesterday and he passed away. It was peaceful and after years of living with this and it taking a toll on his family he felt it was time. He left a message for my dad which was very bittersweet and only affirmed that he was a great man who thought of other people instead of himself. He only wanted to stay alive this long so that the doctors could do tests on him so that others who weren't as advanced in the disease could benefit from what they found. He was upbeat and so funny even when he couldn't speak. He wrote two books, one was for his daughter Kara. I didn't meet him until I moved to Nashville and I honestly didn't get to know him that well while I was there. But I do know that respect and admire him for all that he went through and did for other people. The funeral is tomorrow and I wish I could be there but I am in AZ for another two weeks. If you could please keep his family in your prayers. Ladonna is his wife and his two kids are Kara and Chad. I am sure this is probably a very conflicting time for them. On one hand they are mourning the death of the father and husband, but they are probably somewhat relieved that he doesn't have to live with that disease anymore.
Thanks everyone for keeping them in your thoughts and prayers.

19 Days Left!

2007-07-19T22:05:00.000-07:00

Like the title says I onle have 19 days left until I come back to Nashville! Yay! I can't wait! I do have one thing to look forward to before then, Michelle (my sister) will be here a week from today! Which will be awesome. We are going to a Diamondbacks game which I am totally excited about! Honestly, most people don't know that I love baseball but I do.
Work has kind of sucked right now but I only have like 11 days of that left. (yay!)

Not much else to write about. I miss everyone in Nashville. Can't wait to see you!

2007-07-09T14:22:00.000-07:00

If you could please keep the family of Aileen Primero in your thoughts and prayers. She was a friend of mine in high school and she passed away on Saturday. I hadn't seen her in over a year but it's still shocking to think that someone who was so full of life (if you knew her you would know what I am talking about) could just be gone like that.

Yay USA

2007-07-04T18:15:00.000-07:00

Happy fourth to everyone! I hope everyone is safe and having a wonderful time today!

So, I've been doing nothing since my last post. Well, I guess not nothing. I have been working, I got sick last week so I spent all weekend laying around drugged out on NyQuil. Last night I went to see Licensed to Wed with the oh so wonderful John Krasinski (sigh). It was cute. Not as funny as I thought it would be but still entertaining and worth seeing.
Currently I am sitting at home extremely bored and not doing much of anything because I have the day off of work and my friends here seem to have plans already. Oh well, I guess this will be a bunch of down time. However, I realized while downtime is a good thing, it is only a good thing in smallish quantities. Now I am just really bored and getting really annoyed with my parents.
The countdown is on and I have exactly 36 days left until I am back in Nashville. Oh, and as of right now I am living with Tara in the fall because her roomate is spending the semester in London and we both just needed roomates for the fall semester. So, it seemed to be the best option. So, in 36 days I will be back! I can't wait. My mother always says not to wish your life away but honestly I wish it was Aug 9th right now. Anyway, I better go and do more of nothing since I don't think I have anything else to talk about.
Happy Fourth of July everyone!

So, I guess I should update...

2007-06-18T22:54:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't know I am currently back in Arizona until August. yay. (Note the sarcasm.) Apparently you have to be taking six hours of classes to be able to get a loan and I was taking three. Since I could not afford to live in the commons without a loan I decided that the best choice for me would be to move back in with my parents for two months and try to get a job and save some money. So, I am currently trying to find a job.

Also, I don't know if a lot of people know this but Jess and I are most likely not going to live together next year. Nothing bad happened or anything we just decided it might be better. On a good note though Danielle and I decided that when she gets back we are going to live together! However, if anyone knows of someone who needs a roomate for the first semester that would be great.

On another good note, I met a boy. Nothing is really happening because he is in Nashville and I am in Socttsdale but hopefully when I get back things can happen. I think I might be a little smitten. :-)
Okay first summer goal:
Get tan...screw skin cancer!

2007-06-03T17:05:00.000-07:00

Thanks to all who were thinking or praying for my mom. Her surgery went well and she is expected to heal well. She is kind of suffering from depression that comes after surgery sometimes. She will get through it though.
I am back in Nashville as of 7:35 this morning. It was a hellish night that I hope to never repeat. I was on two red eyes and went through three time zones. So, I don't even know how many hours I traveled last night. But it is over and I am glad to be back.
I start classes tomorrow and quite possibly I start Bricktops too. Not sure when that will happen but hopefully this week.
I am so tired I think I might go to bed now. That is pathetic since it is only 7:15.

Home Sweet...eh

2007-05-27T19:35:00.000-07:00

So, I am back in the AZ for a week. It's been pretty uneventful so far. I went to see Pirates this afternoon. It was so loooooonnnnnngggggg. They tried to fit way too much into this movie. It wasn't horrid but it was just okay. Tonight I am going to go meet up with Emily (my best friend from here). It will be good to see her. She is going to Point Loma in San Deigo in the fall so this visit will probably be the last time I see her until Christmas. Speaking of that, is anyone not going home for Thanksgiving this fall. I don't think I want to, but I also don't want to be the only on in Nashville. Anyway, just putting that out there. I am bored and waiting for my hair color to process and thought I would write on here. Anyway, hope all is well with everyone.

sigh

2007-05-24T00:30:00.001-07:00

Do you ever really need to talk about something but there is no person to talk to? I mean that you have talked about it with people yet the same thing keeps happening and they don't seem to care? Sometimes I convince myself I am being stupid and truthfully there are times when I am. However, it isn't always me. I don't think I normally would put even this much about how I am feeling on the internet knowing that people I know can read it but, it is 2:35am and everyone is out of town and I just had to get it off my chest. It was one of those things where I want to know someone heard me a little but I still didn't want the whole world to know. I don't think that made any sense, but that is what is going through my head at the moment.
On a totally different subject I am watching Gilmore Girls right now (what a surprise) and Rory and Lorelai are eating burgers and fries and I have to say they look really good right now.
Those are my thoughts. And if you made it this far I am kind of sorry and I want to say thanks.

wow...

2007-05-21T15:01:00.000-07:00

I suck at this whole blog thing now. I haven't written since May 5th? Wow. Part of that is because I feel as if I've been a bit boring lately and kind of in a weird place. So, with that said here is what has been going on...
Since last Thursday I've been working 9-6 at FRA with the oh so lovely middle school children. Although today I got off early which is nice. My last day working with the kiddies is Friday. Part of my may actually miss it. I will for sure miss everyone I work with because they are awesome. But some of the kids aren't so bad either.
I got a job as a greeter at Bricktops! I was hired last week and I now work there which is awesome since I already know most of the people who work there and hang out with them on a regular basis.
I am going to Arizona on Saturday. My mom is having her fourth back surgery on the 31st so I am going back to help out with that.
Danielle moved out. :-( VERY SAD about that! Damnhell you have no idea how much I miss you. The other day Em, Jess and I were all at home and one of them said wow we are all home at the same time and I was like no we aren't Daniell isn't here. And then I got all sad because you don't live with us anymore.
Tessa-P-Pants came to visit! Susan Lucci! I love thee.
Val left this morning from her visit back to the Ville. That was fun. It was wonderful to see her. I am so happy that everyone is making their way back. I am just choosing to be in denial about the two leaving in the fall. (You girls are not leaving I don't know what you are talking about.)
I think that's about it. I am kind of boring. Oh well, such is life.

That's Right

2007-05-06T12:05:00.001-07:00

I now have three tatoos! It's on my left foot and it says Matthew 6:34. Which is "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." I LOVE it!! I will try to have a picture up soon. And now I am watching Miami Ink haha. Anyway, I thought I would let everyone know! Yay!

Yeah...

2007-04-30T00:06:00.000-07:00

So, it happened again. Yes ladies and gentlemen it did. Only this time there was a request for it. Haha. Okay I am going to bed.

Random Observations

2007-04-22T16:06:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in Cafe Coco right now. I should be writing a paper that is due for my Soc of Music class on Tuesday. I am about five pages into it. It's supposed to be 8-10...yeah there will be a couple late nights. I am having a discussion with Tim on IM about how hot the K of S actually is. We've decided that he would not be as good looking if he didn't come in the full package...meaning the tatoos, clothes, hair, nose ring and the superiority complex. I hate you Katherine (not really I do love you but for that I hate you).
Anyway, there are a lot of Vandy girls here today. Which is also interesting considering when I come at night it is usually a bunch of very random people.
I wish that I had more things to say. But I don't.
Oh here is something. I miss Lindsey already.

No Interesting Title Right Now...

2007-04-06T22:21:00.000-07:00

I went to a Good Friday service tonight that Rolling Hills had and it was really good. They had different stations around the room (it was at the Factory in Franklin) and each station had a different theme. There was a communion station, then one that was talking about how Mary felt watching her son die. Then there was one that was talking about our sin and to remind us of it we drank this little cup on lemon juice. There was one that had blank papers that were available to write or draw what we were feeling at the time. Then there was this cross in the middle of the room with index cards to write out sin on. Then we nailed it to the cross and they put it up in the front of the room. It was a REALLY good service. They just let you wonder around to the different stations and the music was good.

It was good to be reminded what this Easter is actually about. I forget every year the real reason for all of this. I don't know why but I do. I don't think I ever think it is all that important of a holiday and then I am reminded every year and it hits me like a ton of bricks. He died for me. And I forget that? How is that possible? It shouldn't be possible and I wish it weren't.

My dad had surgery this morning and everything is fine. They found out his shoulder was worse than they thought it was before they did the surgery but he is fine now. So, yay! I don't think I told that many people about it before hand. That's because he didn't tell me until Monday through an email with the subject line of FYI.

That's about all that's going on with me. I am at Tara's watching season nine of Friends. I think she might be sleeping. I better get going. Night.

Good Time for a Break

2007-04-04T16:40:00.000-07:00

I have Pearl back! YAY! It feels really good to have her back again. Haha, and the dealership was really nice and helpful. So yay, that's all over with!

My brother in law Todd (Toddaroo to Tara) was quoted in an article in yahoo. Here is the link:
http://biz.yahoo.com/bw/070403/20070403005286.html?.v=1
I don't know what they are talking about but I think it's cool that he is quoted in it. His name is Todd Berg if you decide to read it.

Okay I am pretty boring right now so I am going to go.

Sears Sucks

2007-04-02T17:04:00.000-07:00

So, I got my car towed to Sears in Cool Springs on Saturday. And today they decide to tell me that they can't fix it because they are not "equipped" to fix the alternater. Can I just ask why it took them three days to tell me that? So, I had to tow it to the dealership. So, I call Sears (and this all happens while I am at work btw) and ask them to put the car in the parking lot with the keys on the driver's side matt. So, I then get a call from the tower guy and he says he has been there for ten minutes and hasn't seen the car. So, I call Sears and I am on hold for ten minutes and then get cut off. I call back and I am kind of mean and they say they will take care of it. I haven't heard from anyone yet so I am assuming that it made it there all right. OSDfhg;ohf- that's how I feel right now.
So, that is what I am doing right now. It sucks. It will get better though. This was just a bad week for this to happen I think. In fact this week was already better. I got a B on my Mass Media test, which is good for her tests. We also got to watch Goodnight and Goodluck which so far has been really good. Anyway, it is getting better, yay!
I miss Kitty already. Thought everyone should know that.

Blonde Moment

2007-03-29T17:51:00.000-07:00

So, I made this whole new blog so that my friends could comment on my blog again and then I forgot my username and password. So, that is great. But I got it all figured out (obviously). So, this week has kind of sucked. There have been some good points to this week but I've just had this very weird/pissy/bad/I don't know feeling all this week. I don't know why. I have been busy this whole week too, so I am sorry if I've fallen off the face of the earth. I have an IP test tomorrow, which I am not too worried about. But I also have a Mass Media test tomorrow and I HAVE to do well on it. Anyway, I need to go study but I was just really excited about being able to write on here again.

It's My First Time...

2007-03-25T20:12:00.000-07:00

So, I created this because I kind of don't like xanga anymore. Also, this way people who don't have xangas can comment if they would like. And I also promise that I will be better about reading other's blogs...because as of now I am not that good at it. So enough with that...
So, on Friday night Tara and I went to Cabana. It was a lot of fun. The bartender took a liking to us and gave us free doubles all night. So, needless to say we all had a very nice time. His name is Collin and Tara is blaming him for the condition we were in that night...not so sure that he is completely at fault.
So, Katherine came into town on Saturday and that is awesome. We had a dance like Justin party this afternoon...also awesome.
It's been a rough weekend with my family...hopefully things will be better this week. We'll see.